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Meredith Gibraltar writes a poem about fear.  Fear of inner voices.  Cheers!

I fear.
I sit here on the couch and I fear.
You feel strong within me.
As if you could knock me off the couch.
I distract myself and try to think of other things.
The feeling passes.
It is all in my mind I think.
Slowly I calm down.
Slowly I relax.
But there is another voice affecting me.
Multiple voices.
Who will get me to do what I don’t want.
I stay calm.
I try to relax.
I stay calm and that voice passes.
I am petrified but I don’t let it show.
God and The Good help.
I engage in conversation.
A mistake.
But they help.
Slowly I calm down.
But the effect is stressful.
I dare not ignore them.
I dare not ignore the voices.
Observe them, my psychologist said.
I am too distraught to do it.
I engage in conversation.
The Good help me as does God.
I go to sleep.  Barely able to sleep.
The next morning I am calm.
I will observe today.
That is the key.  Don’t engage.
Observe.
Slowly I heal.
Always keep fighting.

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In God I trust…a poem of healing.

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Meredith Gibraltar writes a personal poem.  Cheers!

God I thank you.
Praise the Lord!
Today is a good day.
A day of peace and joy.
Thank you Lord.
For you are good.
I am calm.
I face my fears with God by my side.
I muster up my courage.
I face my fear head on.
I take a breath.
And I walk.
A simple walk on a quiet day.
Yet so freeing.  So exhilarating.
I walk.  I see.  I enjoy.
Slowly I heal.
My fears are less today.
Thanks be to God!

 

photo credit:  Stephanie McCabe on Unsplash.

The Strength of Spirit…a poem.

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Meredith Gibraltar writes a poem about the strength of spirit.  She is getting help from her conscious mind and it’s fantasies.  Like Jung.  Cheers!

A spirit is strong if it can stand to watch people suffering.
It holds itself back and watches with a tear.
But it knows that God and good friends are helping.
It sheds a tear but never lets it fall.
For a spirit is in a tear.
Do not cry, my love.
For I am here.
Hold your tears and cry later.
Free yourself and cry now.
Cry my love, cry.
It heals.  I love you.

Photo by Tom Holmes on Unsplash

I struggle…a poem.

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Meredith Gibraltar writes a personal poem.  I have stopped writing books.  I need to take a course.  But I still write some personal poems.

I struggle.
I struggle with fear.
Fear of being abused again.
Fear of people attacking my mind.
I stay calm.  I paint.  It heals.
I write.  It heals.
Slowly my subconscious realises that there is no imminent danger.
Slowly my subconscious realises that I am safe.
Slowly I heal.

Heal…a poem.

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Meredith Gibraltar writes a poem about family and healing.  Cheers!

I hid from you for so long, my family.
To this day you don’t know it all.
You were by my side except for one.
One I wouldn’t trust completely.
You betrayed my trust with my doctor.
Yet I trust you now.
Yet I listened to you most.
When it was time to heal.
I still hear your words.
Now you hurt us Abigail.
Now you hurt your Mother.
It’s time to heal.
Make an effort.
Heal, Abigail, heal.

Happy New Year!

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Meredith Gibraltar would like to take the time to wish you and your’s a Happy New Year.  May the new year be filled with love, blessings and good luck.  Cheers!

This is my best painting of 2017.  I have captured the crouching leopard very well.  He looks balanced as he enjoys a meal.  It is a pastel painting.  Yes, I am an artist too.

I have come a long way in the past year.  My illness was very severe at New Year’s last year.  Since then with courage and perseverance and encouragement from my loved ones I have dealt with my fears.  I have therapy and that has helped since the medication is helping.  But what really helped was and is the counseling.  Therapy without counseling is useless.  You have to talk about what is bothering you.  And you need to talk to a professional.  They can guide you and can guide you to books that can help.  Two books I use are The Courage to Heal Workbook and Anxiety & Phobia Workbook.  They have been invaluable in their guidance and in my self discovery.  Please if you have anxiety seek professional help.  You need it!

I am developing the suspense in my novel Martha.  Martha will be followed and in extreme danger.  The men searching for Daniel will find her and Daniel must step up and protect her so that she will survive.  Martha’s anxiety increases.

I have been blessed with a miracle this December 2017.  The miracle of birth.  I am a grandmother for the first time in my life.  The child, Erik, was born on Dec 28 2017.  He weighed 10 lbs 5 oz.  And is healthy.  As I held Erik for the first time I felt a rightness deep in my soul.  Here was a reason to heal.  Here was a reason to keep on trying.  Here was a reason for being.  The little man is a good baby and my daughter is fine and both are healthy.  I thank God for little Erik.  May God keep him and my daughter safe.  Thank you God.  My cup runneth over.

I wish for all of you a miracle in 2018.  A miracle is unique to every person.  I wish for you a guiding light that can help you heal and be courageous.  It is with courage that we face our inner demons.  The road is long and hard but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Slowly we heal.  Happy 2018.